Chapter Two - Meeting - Tyler's Story

First day of true practice. It’s here, it’s exciting… it’s truly frightening. Somehow, Tyler made varsity?! Tyler is doubting his abilities with a passion. It’s no secret that Tyler has anxiety. While he tries to front as being this super confident person, internally he dies inside. As Tyler is walking into the bowling alley once again, he’s faced immediately with a similar scene as last time. The other team is there! As expected, so is Hunter! What are they doing there? This has never happened, the first time surely was a mistake but a second time?  Tyler's anxiety is being fueled not only by a sea of unknown faces but the boy he’s been stalking online for the last few days.

            “It’s okay,” Tyler tells himself. Tyler’s been wanting to boost his popularity, to get in with the cool kids. He’s going to have to get over this anxiety of his if he has any hopes of succeeding. So, with a fake smile plastered across his face, he strolls deeper into the bowling alley making his way to his team. One thing that Tyler noticed as he gets up to his team is that the other team is right next to them! This is so unusual, however, as Tyler looks around, he notices that the bowling alley is fairly full? This is confusing for Tyler as his last two years on the JV team, the bowling alley has never been this full.

            Tyler gets closer to his team and inside he can feel butterflies, the only open seat is the one with the back facing Hunters! They’re going to be so close; Tyler doesn’t know how he’s going to keep it cool. It’s important to get this right, not only does he want to make a good impression with Hunter, but he also wants to impress the varsity boys.

            So, Tyler simply sits in the only chair left open, gets out his things and sets up for practice. He tries to ignore Hunter but that seems largely unsuccessful. Hunter’s voice simply cuts through the bowling alley. The low smooth sound of Hunter’s voice is intoxicating to Tyler. In an effort to get his mind off of Hunter, Tyler tries to connect with the other boys on the team, they seem hesitant at first. However, Tyler truly wants to get better, so he asks the more seniored bowlers on the team for advice and they are hooked. While they were intimidating at first, they were genuinely nice to Tyler. This was good news. Maybe this season would be a good change and he’d be able to make more friends.

            However, while getting advice from the bowling team, Tyler couldn’t help but notice a smell. They smell was different than any of the other smells in the bowling alley. It was certainly cologne, and he loved the smell. Bergamot and Cedar wood were the top smells in it. Who was it?! He then realized it was Hunter! Not only does he sound nice, look incredibly cute, but also smells good?! He seems to mark all the check marks that Tyler is looking for but, it could all be for nothing as it usually is. All Tyler knows is that he has to calm down. He’s there to bowl and do well, not finding his next false Prince Charming.

            As Tyler is trying to calm down and concentrate, his turn comes up. It’s finally his turn to prove that he’s on varsity for a reason. So, with a deep breath Tyler gets up, grabs his ball, and gets set. However, when Tyler looks to his left, he sees Hunter and in turn Hunter seems him. Hunter flashes him a friendly smile but that’s all it takes to make Tyler nervous all again. While the nerves are building and with what seems to be pure effortless talent, Hunter bowls a strike.

            “So he can even bowl well… this is not going to go well for me.” Tyler whispered to himself. He’s worried if he doesn’t get a strike the other’s will make fun of him. He knows it’s silly, however, he can’t help but have all the negative thoughts flow through his mind.
            Without even thinking about what he was doing, his mind filled with negative thoughts. Tyler attempts to throw the ball down the lane. However, through all the anxiety he steps over the foul line, and with a panic almost falls on his back from the oil of the lane. This is an utter newbie mistake; how could Tyler be so reckless? This further fuels the anxiety that he’s been trying so hard to get rid of.

            Walking back to the seats Tyler feels as though he can’t breathe. The other team and even his own was laughing so hard at him. How can Tyler think he was ever good enough to get onto varsity? Were they so desperate to get people that Tyler was the last option to add on to the team? What kind of issues is he going to face now?

            Brendon tries to talk to Tyler but it feels as if there is a tunnel going around him. Brendon might as well been talking gibberish. Nothing was getting through to Tyler. Tyler had to escape, even if it was for a few minutes. Tyler quickly announced he had to go to the bathroom and rushed off quickly.

            Tyler quickly found a stall and locked himself in there. The bathroom smelled rancid but Tyler didn’t care he was so embarrassed. Did he also start having a panic attack in front of everybody?! Everybody is going to think he’s weak. Truth be told, they’re right. He’s not. Or at least that’s what he tells himself. Others constantly try and tell him that he’s so brave for letting out his emotions. He’s tired of that, it gets him nowhere when he does. He just gets made fun of.

            Tyler’s panic attack subsides in a couple minutes, he’s learned how to calm himself down just slightly. He tries to suffer silently as his family has taught him. He knows it’s wrong, but he can’t help but feel it’s the only way forward. To protect himself from further harassment.

Tyler exits the bathroom stall with a heavy sigh, only to bump into someone right away. Tyler looks to see who he accidentally ran into and it’s none other than Hunter! What was he doing in here?! This is just great; his anxiety feels like it’s flaring right back up. Tyler has to pretend to wash his hands, otherwise it’s going to look like he was just crying. As he goes to the sink Hunter tries to make polite conversation,

            “Hey sorry for running into you,” Hunter says with a slight grin on his face. One that Midwesterners have perfected to show that everything is good.

“I don’t think we’ve been formally introduced, my name is Hunter, what’s your name?” Hunter asked.

“My name? … It’s… It’s Tyler. It’s okay, I don’t think I’ve seen you since I joined JV in my freshman year. So, we wouldn’t have met before.” Tyler is clearly blushing and he’s trying to hide it

“It’s nice to meet you Tyler,” Hunter giggles ever so slightly. Did Tyler just imagine that?
“I hope you don’t mind me asking… Are you,”  Hunter tries to finish his sentence, however he’s quickly interrupted by Tyler.

“I’m sorry, I got to get back to practice, I’ve been gone way too long. I’ll see you soon.”  Tyler quickly rushing off barely leaving room for Hunter to even listen to his words.

As Tyler hurries out of the bathroom, his thoughts are racing. What just happened? Was Hunter attempting to be friendly? Tyler hopes that Hunter's intentions were sincere. Yet, he's uncertain; although Tyler wishes to spend more time with Hunter and get to know him better, he is trying to avoid falling into the same pattern that has hurt him repeatedly.

When Tyler returns to the group, Brendon can see that he's still visibly unsettled. Without hesitation, he asks a teammate to swap seats so he can remain close to his friend. Brendon can think of countless reasons for Tyler's anxiety. Well aware of Tyler's constant nervousness and anxiety disorder, Brendon is frustrated that Tyler won't seek professional help. Instead, he and the rest of their friends do their best to support him however they can.

"Hey bud, we missed you. I saved your seat," Brendan says, attempting to lift Tyler's mood.

"Thanks... I'm sorry, I guess I overreacted to stepping on the foul line," Tyler replies, partly truthful.

Tyler is hesitant to share the complete truth. He doesn't want Brendan to know that he felt more embarrassed in front of Hunter than anything else—a boy he barely knows.

"Hey, is it my turn to bowl?" Tyler asked, trying to move past his earlier mistakes.

"It actually is! Go ahead and redeem yourself!" Brendon encouraged his friend with enthusiasm.

Taking a deep breath, Tyler stood up, picked up his ball, and approached the lane. Without missing a step, he took four strides forward, released the ball down the lane, and achieved a strike! He finally managed at least one strike. While it doesn't fully make up for his recent poor performance, it could be the start of an improvement.

Tyler's team cheered him on enthusiastically. He tried to soak in the positive energy and enjoy the brief moment of admiration. The opposing team continued to watch him, but Tyler didn't mind. For once, he was simply glad that the people who mattered were pleased.

The feeling of success after the strike was short-lived for Tyler as he saw Hunter returning to his seat. With no other option, they had to sit next to each other. Tyler had to brace himself for anything that might happen—whether it be awkward silence, subtle judgement, or small talk he feared would make him look foolish. The only thing Tyler was certain about is the need to remain calm and composed. These upcoming frames are crucial for the rest of the season.